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The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

(November 19, 2013 10:16 pm)Post Number 1842
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A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(November 19, 2013 3:32 pm)Post Number 1841
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Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

(November 19, 2013 3:32 pm)Post Number 1840
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Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

(November 19, 2013 3:53 am)Post Number 1839
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

(November 18, 2013 6:25 pm)Post Number 1838
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

(November 18, 2013 11:47 am)Post Number 1837
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

(November 18, 2013 7:35 am)Post Number 1836
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My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

(November 17, 2013 10:56 pm)Post Number 1835
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Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

(November 17, 2013 2:18 pm)Post Number 1834
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All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

(November 17, 2013 5:53 am)Post Number 1833
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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

(November 16, 2013 8:21 pm)Post Number 1832
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

(November 16, 2013 2:47 pm)Post Number 1831
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Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

(November 16, 2013 11:02 am)Post Number 1830
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

(November 16, 2013 2:36 am)Post Number 1829
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

(November 15, 2013 11:47 pm)Post Number 1828