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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

(December 14, 2013 7:30 am)Post Number 1914
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

(December 13, 2013 1:18 pm)Post Number 1913
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

(December 13, 2013 10:17 am)Post Number 1912
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If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

(December 12, 2013 5:02 pm)Post Number 1911
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

(December 12, 2013 5:01 pm)Post Number 1910

(December 12, 2013 2:41 pm)Post Number 1909
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

(December 12, 2013 9:53 am)Post Number 1908
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

(December 12, 2013 9:53 am)Post Number 1907
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Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

(December 10, 2013 5:54 pm)Post Number 1906
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

(December 10, 2013 7:12 am)Post Number 1905
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

(December 9, 2013 8:46 pm)Post Number 1904
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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

(December 9, 2013 12:24 pm)Post Number 1903
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

(December 9, 2013 12:24 pm)Post Number 1902


(December 7, 2013 3:19 am)Post Number 1901


(December 7, 2013 3:18 am)Post Number 1900