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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

(November 13, 2013 12:08 pm)Post Number 1814
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The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

(November 13, 2013 4:50 am)Post Number 1813
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

(November 13, 2013 4:49 am)Post Number 1812
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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(November 12, 2013 9:04 pm)Post Number 1811
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

(November 12, 2013 12:32 pm)Post Number 1810
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

(November 12, 2013 12:31 pm)Post Number 1809
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

(November 12, 2013 4:46 am)Post Number 1808
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

(November 11, 2013 9:44 pm)Post Number 1807
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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

(November 11, 2013 9:44 pm)Post Number 1806
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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

(November 11, 2013 2:53 pm)Post Number 1805
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(November 4, 2013 8:02 am)Post Number 1804
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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

(October 31, 2013 7:37 am)Post Number 1803
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

(October 31, 2013 7:34 am)Post Number 1802
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There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

(October 30, 2013 8:01 pm)Post Number 1801
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(October 30, 2013 8:00 pm)Post Number 1800